There are a lot of things that I feel yet I do not know what exactly it is, particularly this one that I feel right now. It is almost like feeling homesick even after being at home.

On days like this, ma used to sit and gaze out of the window, listenning to her favourite old ghazals. And on somedays, I would sit next to her quietly and listen while she would sing ‘aaj jaane ki zid na karo’. Out of thousands of memories that I have of her, there is one in particular that is my favourite, partially because that made us to open up to each other which years later changed into a very beautiful bond. My mother became my bestfriend.

I remember it to be makar sankranti that day, the sky was filled with kites of all the colours and the best part of living in a small town is that you get to celebrate all the festivals with your neighbours like a one big family. But I wasn’t happy that day, we were about to shift to Mumbai in a few days. The thought of leaving the people that I have known all my life and moving to a place filled with strangers was frightening me. I cried a lot that day and even refused to go out at all even after my friends came home to call me.

Ma came to my room that night and as I kept my head on her lap, she told me that changes are inevitable and that we will have to go through many more changes in our life. I was scared but I had her and I knew I would be able to cope up with the change as long as I have my bestfriend with me.

Ma used to smell of home. And now even in her absence she guides me all the time but it is just that sometimes I miss her scent or maybe I just miss being at home.
-Arisha